


Strict Reprieve

by AntiWB



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, Fluff and Angst, haseul deserves everything, im rusty at writing, look its a bunch of gays living life ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 06:39:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16928349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntiWB/pseuds/AntiWB
Summary: Haseul needed her sleep; she had enough to deal with, had responsibilities to fulfill.But a pair of brown eyes was keeping her up at night.





	Strict Reprieve

There was nothing wrong with the sheets; it was a good quality, but budget friendly bulk item. The comforter was nice too – heavy enough to lull her to sleep in most nights without causing her to overheat.  There was nothing special about the pillow she was sinking her face into either – it wasn’t too soft, or too hard.  In short, the source of Haseul’s discomfort was not her bedding.  She groaned and turned her head miserably to the left, squinting across the room where Heejin was sleeping soundly.  She couldn’t blame it on the constant, barely audible snores that pulsed from that direction, either.  Although it sounded to Haseul like an obnoxious revving of an engine at the moment, it had never been a problem before.  No, it was useless to blame this on Heejin.  There were no scapegoats for Haseul to hold up as a shield of denial.

She knew what caused her restlessness. 

It didn’t take much thought.

No, Haseul sighed, clenching her fists.  That wasn’t true.  It took a lot of thought.  It took all her thoughts.  Luckily during the day she was busy and occupied with her work, her responsibilities.  There was no reprieve at night, though. It was practically impossible, comforted with the warmth of her own body heat, to think of anything else.

A shiver broke through the cushy warmth, going down her spine, the thought of soft fingers following that trail making her bury her head back into the pillow to cut off any sounds she may accidentally make. 

Normally, she was glad for her imagination – it made being an idol, an entertainer, easier.  When your every public, waking moment is scrutinized and evaluated and must stand up to expectations, being able to improvise and adapt to any situation was a strength.

But it was far too easy for her imagination to run away from her. The fabric of the pillow her lips brushed against was the pale, soft skin of a neck.  Her mind oh so helpfully provided her with soft gasping sounds and moans.  Would she be vocal?  Probably.  She was fearless, in the moment, bold.  She’d embrace Haseul in her arms, slide her legs around Haseul’s waist, push her head closer to her neck. She’d...

“Shit,” Haseul whispered, shoving herself forcefully but quietly out of the bed, sparing a glance at the girl who occupied the top bunk.  Kahei was deep in sleep, looking peaceful.  The older girl reminded Haseul of a cute, wholesome angel, with only her head visible to the eye.  She brushed aside the thought to wake up her and left the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

No, this wasn’t something she’d talk about to Kahei.  There were so many things they had shared between them over time: hopes, dreams, fears, disappointments, guilty pleasures.  Abstract concepts and trivial preferences.  There were so many things that, up to now, were strictly for Kahei.  Her’s was the shoulder she cried on when the pressure and difficulty of their lives got too overwhelming.  Her’s were the hugs that calmed her when the anxiety of being responsible for eleven other girls got to her head.  The girl from Hong Kong was perhaps closest to knowing everything that made Haseul who she was, and it had been a long time since she trusted anyone to get that close.

She refused full vulnerability, though.  Not even with herself.

If any of the members were afraid of the dark, there was never any need to fear in the dorms.  The glow down the hallway emanating from the kitchen was a beacon, one that was always on.  Barring a power outage, it was never fully dark in the dorm – and even then, Haseul suspected there would be candles lit by the resident insomniac.

Haseul turned into the open doorway, pausing to observe the impassive, bored looking occupant.  There was a large mug of what Haseul deducted to be hot chocolate sitting in front of her on the table, and a cellphone had the entirety of the elegant brunette’s concentration.  If she didn’t know any better, she’d think that Sooyoung was waiting for an appointment to begin; that their kitchen was actually a waiting room that was wasting her valuable time.

 “Step into my office,” she snarked, not looking up from her phone.  The glow of the screen shined a light on her features, highlighting a tiny crease on her forehead, and Haseul smiled despite her predicament.   She passed through the doorway and made her way to the table, lifting the mug to her lips and taking a sip.

She nearly choked in surprise at the unexpected foul taste amidst the soothing flavors of chocolate.  Haseul raised her eyebrows and peaked at the concoction, ignoring the curses and snatch attempts from the offended girl.  After a more careful sip, Haseul handed the mug back.  She rubbed her eyes with a sigh, glancing Sooyoung.  She apparently now had the girl’s full attention. 

“How did you manage to get alcohol into the dorm?” Haseul asked.  With any of the other members, the question would have been asked with a tone of stern disapproval.  Part of her duties was to make sure everyone followed by the rules of the company, after all, and if den mother was to be one of many roles Haseul had to perform, she’d do so to the best of her ability.

With Sooyoung, however, she’d long since learned not to even waste the energy in the act.  She was a professional, of course.  She always followed and supported Haseul’s direction as the group leader and was a great example for the maknae line to follow. 

It was a different story during their off time, however.

The woman found her attempts at taming her to be cute, and made sure that Haseul was well aware of that.  Sooyoung did what she wanted, within reason.  She didn’t need, nor did she want, someone to tell her what to do.

She was enviable, really.  The contrary brat inside of Haseul really admired Sooyoung.  Maybe that was the reason she was one of the privileged few who got to see it.

“Hey make your own!” Sooyoung answered, holding the mug close as if Haseul had committed the most heinous of betrayals.  Haseul couldn’t help but smile at the childishness and she shrugged, playfully nudging past her and grabbing her own mug from a cupboard.  There was still some hot chocolate left from when Sooyoung made it, but the contraband was hidden.

“Second cupboard on the right, behind the rice crackers,” was supplied as an answer before Haseul could even ask.  Of course they were – that was the perfect place to hide the decent-sized bottle of brandy she discovered.  No one ate the rice crackers – she doubted anyone even knew they existed.  Hell, she forgot they even had that storage space. 

Haseul poured approximately a shot of brandy into her mug and stirred it with the chocolate with a sigh, the warmth of the mug alone bringing her comfort.  Now armed, she sat down next to Sooyoung, allowing a groan to escape her lips as she finally rested.  Sooyoung was still looking at her, cellphone long forgotten, patience visibly thinning.  A part of Haseul was curious of how long she could keep ignoring her, but sleep deprivation prevented any such hijinks.

“So.  What brings you here?” the other girl asked, returning to the question she asked before Haseul invaded her one-person speakeasy.  She glanced at her phone, an addict making sure her fix was readily available.  Her eyes returned to Haseul, though, and she smiled briefly at the display of affection that complete attention from the other girl signified.

“Can’t sleep.”

A snort.  A deadpanned voice.  “No shit, really?”

“Language,” Haseul said automatically, a reflex she developed from herding the girls.  There was nothing behind her tone, however, just fatigue.  She brought the mug to her lips and took a sip, sighing.  She should have poured more brandy.

“You really don’t want me guessing,” Sooyoung warned, placing her chin in her palm and scrutinizing her.  “I can come up with some fucked up shit.”

Haseul groaned, meeting her gaze, noting how pretty she was.  Haseul loved all the members of Loona.  She adored Heejin and Hyunjin, proudly acting in the role of their soccer mom and cheering for their every success.  She loved Yeojin like a bratty little sister and honestly would be willing to do anything to keep her safe.  Each maknae, and some of the others, knew and loved Haseul for the dedicated and supportive friend and leader she was.

There were a few that grounded her, though.  Reminded her that she was just a young woman.  That she was fallible and that she had her dumb moments and that she didn’t have to be perfect all the time.  She was simply Haseul, for better or worse, and it was a breath of fresh air whenever she could relax and be herself with them. 

Sooyoung was one of those friends.

She was an insufferable pain in her ass.  Even when in her professional mode, she rarely took anything seriously, always ready with a remark to lighten the tension of a situation.  Ha Sooyoung seemed like an ice princess to some, and it didn’t really bother the her what other people thought.  However, those that get close to her knew without a doubt that she was a living troll.  Haseul wanted to strangle her sometimes.  Other times, she was thankful for the reminder that not every problem or difficulty was the end of the world. 

Right now, late into the night nursing a mug of spiked chocolate, Haseul was grateful.

“I keep thinking about...things.” Haseul said lamely, glancing away and hating how a blush crept up her neck to her cheeks.  She wasn’t embarrassed by the topic of sex; it simply was not something she talked about.  It was a facet of her that she kept to herself.  Sex was complicated and unnecessary right now, and it frustrated her to no end that it was pretty much all she thought about.  Despite figuring that Sooyoung of all people would be unfazed by the revelation, it still was not a weakness she wanted known.

“Things.” Sooyoung repeated, rolling her eyes in a rather impressive way.  She shifted in her seat, sitting back with crossed legs, a finger lightly tapping the ceramic mug in thought as she studied her reluctant prey.  Haseul felt like a lamb before a wolf.

“Well, I doubt its work related.  You’ve never lost sleep over it.  Homesickness could be it, but you’d be crying and I’d be waking up Jiwoo if it was because fuck _that_.”  A grin began to grow on her face, and Haseul had never seen something so evil looking in her life.  “So...who’ve you been creaming to?”

“Soo!” Haseul shoved her, face red and darkening as Sooyoung cackled like the witch she was.  Haseul wanted to actually punch her friend, especially as she realized she’d all but confirmed the assumption.

Sooyoung raised her hands in surrender, trying her best to rein in what became a giggle fit.  “Okay so you’re horny, got it.” Sooyoung cleared her throat, doing her best to seem vaguely unimpressed again.  She finished her drink, setting it down once she fully got a handle on herself. “Want to talk about it?”

“...Why would I ever want to talk about it.” Haseul muttered, knowing it was no good trying to deny it was true.  Shoulders hunched in misery, Haseul took a long sip of her spiked chocolate, indulging herself to the warmth that flowed into her body and wishing that the slight fuzziness that was getting to her head was faster.  She really should have used more brandy.

“Because you’d have gone to the living room or balcony or something if you didn’t want to,” was the answer, and Haseul glanced up at Sooyoung in surprise.  The other girl looking completely serious and sincere.  She watched her pull the brandy back out and bring it to the table, setting it in front of the stressed leader.  The gesture was a welcome comfort and assurance – she was now being taken seriously.

Her thoughts drifted to a few weeks prior. The confident stride and twirl, the casual toss of silly Christmas antlers, the playful, flirty twinkle in a pair of brown eyes. The way her heart started to race when the other girl had continued her part with a healthy dose of fan service.  Haseul pressed her forehead down into her palm, groaning in frustration that she was attracted to a friend.

“I promise, no one will know that you are a full-blooded, sexual being.” Sooyoung said solemnly, the small twitch of her lips being the only indication that she was doing what she did best; joking the issue down to manageable proportions.

“...Fuck it.” Haseul sighed after a few moments of hesitation, pouring the brandy straight into her mug.  Not every problem or difficulty was the end of the world, she reminded herself as she turned fully to Sooyoung, who was actively listening as she began to speak.

Its just that some problems ended eras.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~
> 
> This is my first fic on AO3, and my first fic under this penname. I hope you liked it - I haven't written anything for a long time. Blame herhorizon for providing the prompt, and my own terrible brain for thinking it'd be neat to turn what was supposed to be a one shot into a chaptered fic.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Comments are neat.


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